USA

Maybe if we all ate pants and wore pancakes for a day, that would solve America's problems.

Awful things

Which is more annoying: Facebook or pancake butt?

Hard times

If you work hard, play hard, and eat breakfast hard, you must be sexually attracted to pancakes.

Feminism

A woman without a pancake is like a waffle without a cult of deranged worshipers who deep-fry orphans.

Oneness

The pancake, the plate, and the prophet are as one. For this, we can thank crazy glue.

Math

One lawyer with a machete can do more damage than a thousand criminals with pancakes. Duh.

Self-actualization

The key to self-actualization is eating a stack of pancakes taller than Mini-Me.