Tuesday, August 31, 2010


A pancake is like lingerie. It's delicate and looks revolting on your mom.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Evangelical Pancake-ism

Evangelical Pancake-ism is just like Christianity, but the wafer is replaced with pancakes, and the Jesus is replaced with Don Knotts.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


Pancakes are like war. A lot of people die, but they bring a country together, and everyone loves them--or is an evil socialist hippie scumbag.

Thursday, August 19, 2010


Want to see free webcams of naked pancakes? If so, consult your neurologist.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The nexus of the universe

Pancakes exist somewhere between eternity, infinity, and Schenectady.

Friday, August 13, 2010


Life is like a spatula. Don’t stick it up your butt right before making pancakes.

Thursday, August 12, 2010


Every pancake gets what it deserves: an exorcism performed by Oprah on July 4.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


The young want Swedish pancakes; the old want Finnish pornography. Everybody wins.

Thursday, August 5, 2010


A good pancake is loved by the bacon, feared by the sausages, and hated by my cousin Billy.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Kneel before pancakes! They really appreciate that sort of thing, and I could win a bet.