The dead

The spirits of the dead often haunt the pancakes of the dead. That's why breakfast is the worst meal for murder.

The universe

The universe was really created like a Swedish pancake, not a big bang, but scientists are suckers for alliteration, so what're you gonna do?

Baptism

If a baby is baptized in pancake batter, God will be pleased. Child services, not so much.

The heavenly realm

Even in the exalted heavenly realm, there is usually one guy who farts on your pancake and sells your children to pirates.

The sea

The Dead Sea Scrolls can't hold a candle to the Dead Sea Pancakes. Too bad that pig-farmer Aquaman ate 'em.

Egypt

The Egyptians had very little time for pancakes. They were too busy encouraging Druids and Vikings to make porn.

Farming

Hardworking farmboys know the value of a pancake. At least they'd better, because hardworking farmbots are on sale at Jewel.

Love

Pancake-lovers blather; waffle-lovers blither. Crepe-lovers pee the bed.

Multiculturalism

A Mexican waffle and a German pancake have only one thing in common: Finnish pornography.

Waffles

A waffle is as good as a pancake--to a puppy-humping, orphan-eating agent of Satan, I reckon.

The altar of God

I have sworn upon the altar of God that...whoa. Dude. This altar would be a sweet spot to eat some pancakes.

Names

Out of the ten unerasable names in the eleven unknowable realms, I like "Mr. Pancake Butt" the best.

The universe

The universe is endless and unfathomed. A great thing about pancakes is they are easily fathomed. You don't have to be a great fathomer.

Mom

Oh what a crooked road we take when first we poo on Mom's pancake.

Healing

Heal me, O lord, and I shall be healed; pancake me, and I shall be pancaked; waffle me, and I shall burn in hell like an English muffin in a broken toaster.

Flame

"My loins are aflame!" said the seeker.

"My pancakes are aflame!" said the master.

Since the monastery was also aflame, we'll never know how that one turned out.

Elegy

Every pancake is an elegy to the prophet who peed on it.

Choices

I'd rather have a floozy in a jacuzzi than a pancake in a porta-potty. That's just how I was raised.

Life

I looked at my life, and it was a pancake. Hey, at least it wasn't a bowl of warm snot, like usual.

Death

How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a pancake? (Hint: Drug him).

Health

The best healthcare is a delicate mix of voodoo, pancakes, and sensual massage, but try telling that to an insurance company...