Hell

Are there pancakes in hell? Yes, and JFK pees on them twice a day.

The soul

Many seekers have asked, "Do pancakes have souls?" Yes, that is what distinguishes them from your mom.

Preaching

I don't regret the pancakes I preached, but I feel a little awkward about the preachers I pancaked. So that evens out.

Coupons

A pious priestess of the pancake is hard to find. Lucky for you, I'm having a sale.

Moses

The ten commandments don't mention pancakes, probably because Moses was a Satan-licking muffin-humper.

Knowledge

It's not what you know--it's who you make pancakes for while snorkeling their mom.

Conquest

He who conquers himself has won a greater victory than he who conquers a pancake. Still, that's pretty pitiful either way.