Friends

It is foolish to speak scornfully of pancakes. Many have nasty friends in the government.

Promises

If you promise to eat a stranger's pancake, you will regret it. Did I say "pancake"? I meant "firstborn".

Media

Roger Federer is better at making pancakes than playing tennis, but no one knows, because of our money-grubbing, waffle-loving media.

Effort

By trying often, the pancake learns to inappropriately touch the sausage.

Distinctions

Some people can't tell the difference between fairy dust and pancake batter. We call these people "buttmunches".

Life

Marriage is two warm pancakes, and life is the cocker spaniel that jumps up on the table to eat them.

Choices

Marry, boff, or kill: Pancakes, waffles, and biscuits. I'd boff the biscuits, marry the pancakes, and kill the waffles. That's just how I was raised.