Blessed

How blessed is the man who never stuffs pancakes down his underoos? Just a little blessed. Come on, we have standards around here.

Speak

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves--especially pancakes, who have some great ideas about the economy.

Sinners

Do not throw pancake batter at sinners! Try some rocks. They are more effective.

The ten commandments

The ten commandments don't mention pancakes, so I guess it's OK to slather them with the blood of orphans.

Lingerie

A pancake is like lingerie. It's delicate and looks revolting on your mom.

Evangelical Pancake-ism

Evangelical Pancake-ism is just like Christianity, but the wafer is replaced with pancakes, and the Jesus is replaced with Don Knotts.

War

Pancakes are like war. A lot of people die, but they bring a country together, and everyone loves them--or is an evil socialist hippie scumbag.