God

God is constantly molding you into the person or pancake you were meant to be.

Security

Maybe if Linus carried a security pancake instead of a security blanket, Charles M. Schulz would still be alive.

Freedom

Why are there Special Olympics but no Pancake Olympics? I thought this was America.

Firsts

The wheel and fire were well-received, but the caveman who invented the first pancake also received the first blow job.

Music and diet

Simon and Garfunkel were OK, but Simon and pancakes are more filling.

Helen Keller

Q: Why did Helen Keller love pancakes? A: Because everyone loves pancakes.