The rich and the poor

It is better to eat pancakes in a rich man's bathtub than to eat rats in a poor man's dumpster. Duh.

Safe sex

11% of teens think they can get pregnant if they eat pancakes while having butt sex.

Pancake-pocalypse

Now that we know the Rapture is bullshit, maybe people will take the Pancake-pocalypse seriously.

Bananas

You can put bananas in a pancake, but you can't put pancakes in a banana. For this, bananas are grateful.

Nostradamus

All pancakes are preordained. Nostradamus believed in a hearty breakfast.

Marriage

Why buy the pancake when you can pour syrup on yourself for free?

Purgatory

The pancake is the state bird of New Jersey.

Drinking

Pancakes before beer, never fear. Yak testicles before wine, you'll be fine.

Dating

Never eat a pancake or placenta on a first date.