Hell

Are there pancakes in hell? Yes, and JFK pees on them twice a day.

The soul

Many seekers have asked, "Do pancakes have souls?" Yes, that is what distinguishes them from your mom.

Preaching

I don't regret the pancakes I preached, but I feel a little awkward about the preachers I pancaked. So that evens out.

Coupons

A pious priestess of the pancake is hard to find. Lucky for you, I'm having a sale.

Moses

The ten commandments don't mention pancakes, probably because Moses was a Satan-licking muffin-humper.

Knowledge

It's not what you know--it's who you make pancakes for while snorkeling their mom.

Conquest

He who conquers himself has won a greater victory than he who conquers a pancake. Still, that's pretty pitiful either way.

Guests

After three days, guests and pancakes both taste terrible.

Wisdom

When wisdom speaks, will you listen? Or will you stuff pancakes in your ears, like a weirdo?

Abominations

Do not pour praise on the Lord while pouring goat's blood on your pancakes. Who do you think you are, Oprah?

Adoration

Every woman adores pancakes, which pleases the gods. In fact, that's why the gods gave women boobs.