Intelligence

A waffle has many nooks, but no brains. That's why pancakes call them "bungholes".

Dreams

If you dream of a pancake, you will wake up with a spatula. Or a whore, whatever.

Options

There is so much pain in life. That's why stuffing your pancakes with enough heroin to kill a cult is always an option.

Men

Every man has a pancake self and a giant spitting earthworm self. This could explain lesbianism.

Discipline

The mind cannot concentrate on two things at once. If you are worried about your stack of pancakes, think about your dungeon of virgins instead.

The great master

When the great master came to this land a long time ago, he blew a honker onto my pancakes. God, I hate that guy.

Neighbors

There is no amulet that will protect your pancakes from goblins and gremlins. But landmines should take care of those nosy neighbors.

Blessings

Count your pancakes while you're counting your blessings. If you have more pancakes, here is the number of Dr. Kevorkian.

Education

You'll learn more in 10 days at a pancake house than you will in 100 days in a sensory-deprivation chamber.

Beauty and intelligence

It is more difficult to be a beautiful pancake than an intelligent biscuit.

Humility

Be humble, for you are made of pancakes. Be noble, for you are made of angel poo.

Waffling

What did one pancake say to the other?

Let's kill some waffles and raise their children as our own!

Pillaging

You can't pillage a pancake, unless you are a terrifying nanobot. Even then, wouldn't you rather destroy my neural pathways?

Life and death

It is a fine thing to die for one's pancake, but a finer thing to live for it.

Blame

Do not blame God for creating the pancake, but thank Him for not giving it tentacles.