Friends

It is foolish to speak scornfully of pancakes. Many have nasty friends in the government.

Promises

If you promise to eat a stranger's pancake, you will regret it. Did I say "pancake"? I meant "firstborn".

Media

Roger Federer is better at making pancakes than playing tennis, but no one knows, because of our money-grubbing, waffle-loving media.

Effort

By trying often, the pancake learns to inappropriately touch the sausage.

Distinctions

Some people can't tell the difference between fairy dust and pancake batter. We call these people "buttmunches".

Life

Marriage is two warm pancakes, and life is the cocker spaniel that jumps up on the table to eat them.

Choices

Marry, boff, or kill: Pancakes, waffles, and biscuits. I'd boff the biscuits, marry the pancakes, and kill the waffles. That's just how I was raised.

Niceties

Do something nice for someone today. How about making pancakes for those hostages? Or just kill them, whatever.

Sausage party

Encouragement from a good pancake can turn a sausage's life around.

Angels

One of the most common ways angels speak to you is by leaving a feather in your pancakes.

Barry White

If you want to romance a pancake, you have bigger problems than how to romance a pancake... but may I suggest a sensual massage?

Robotics

The first thing my robo-butler is gonna do is make me some pancakes. Then we'll probably explore our sexuality. After that, who knows?

Primates

Chimps have been discovered making pancakes in the wild, if by "making pancakes" you mean flattening poo and peeing on it.

The paradox of life

The paradox of life: When you are young, you want to be a pancake. When you are a pancake, you want to be a frozen yam on a stick.

Perspective

If things look hopeless, check to see if you replaced your contact lenses with tiny pancakes.

Desire

Pancakes want to be loved; cheesecakes want to be obeyed.

Oneness

Are we, to quote Kurt Gibson, "sons of one pancake"? My answer is a definitive yes.

Hope

If you cannot believe that everything will turn out for the best, then at least believe that I did not whiz on your pancakes.

Heritage

You are a combination of your mother's blueberry pancakes and your father's porn collection.

Courage

Stand up for your pancakes, even if you're alone, all alone in a mental asylum, all because of your passionate defense of pancakes.

Someday

Treat your friend as someone who may someday become your pancake, and your pancake as someone who may someday become your no-no on the carpet.

1978

Pancakes have nothing to be ashamed of, aside from the muffin genocide of 1978.

Priorities

A people that values its pancakes above its pickles will soon lose both.