The cycle of life

What would Jesus eat? Pancakes.

Who would eat Jesus? Christians.

Who would eat Christians? Hyenas.

Who would eat hyenas? Jesus.

The cycle of life.

Cockroaches

Cockroaches are like pancakes in this way: They taste a little better with syrup.

The moon

There are no pancakes on the moon. Does that mean there are no pancake monsters on the moon? I wonder if NASA is hiring.

Choices

When choosing between two pancakes, I pick the one that hasn't been peed on.

Manners

Don't say, "Sweet merciful pancakes!"

Say, "Sweet holy mother of pancakes!"

It's politer.

The Pope

What does the Pope have to say to a pancake? Probably something in German, or maybe Klingon--the secret language Popes use to talk to their food.

Knowledge

Let not thy left pancake know what thy right pancake doeth. And if your right pancake is doing things, and your left pancake is knowing things, it might be time to make new pancakes.

Context

Do not judge a situation prematurely. Our parents taught us, "Never trust a man without pancakes or children." But what if the children ate the pancakes and the man ate the children? That would change everything.

Tragedy

Comedy is when you eat a pancake with chopsticks; tragedy is when I drink lava through a straw.

Syrup

In the middle of the pancake, do not change syrups. Also, keep an eye on your cousin Sally. She looks shifty.

A golden throne

If you see a silver pancake on a golden throne in a purple forest, then I will refer you to a specialist.

Shoes

You can get used to anything except a pancake in your shoe or a long metal pole in your brain.

Paradise

If Adam and Eve had eaten pancakes instead of an apple, humanity would still live in a beautiful garden paradise, and I bet I wouldn't have dropped my cell phone in the toilet.

Dungeons

Dungeons and pancakes do not go together, but try telling that to your mom.

Guzzling

Do not sip a pancake. Guzzle it with abandon! I'm just kidding. A dude could choke that way.

Dogs

A little dog is really brave in front of his owner's pancake. Let's just hope Aunt Edna stopped booby-trapping breakfast.

Waffles

The waffle forgets, but the pancake does not. I forget why that is, so sue me. Do I look like a pancake?

Teeth

Never feed a cat with corn, nor attempt to pick your teeth with a pancake.