The cosmos

Q: What did the blonde see when she opened a box of pancake batter? A: The secret of the cosmos.

Happiness

Pancakes cause more happiness than Prozac, more boners than Viagra, and more reggae than weed.

Medicine

I feel sorry for the group Doctors Without Pancakes.

God

God is constantly molding you into the person or pancake you were meant to be.

Security

Maybe if Linus carried a security pancake instead of a security blanket, Charles M. Schulz would still be alive.

Freedom

Why are there Special Olympics but no Pancake Olympics? I thought this was America.

Firsts

The wheel and fire were well-received, but the caveman who invented the first pancake also received the first blow job.