Thursday, July 28, 2011


A woman without a pancake is like a waffle without a cult of deranged worshipers who deep-fry orphans.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


The pancake, the plate, and the prophet are as one. For this, we can thank crazy glue.

Thursday, July 21, 2011


One lawyer with a machete can do more damage than a thousand criminals with pancakes. Duh.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


The key to self-actualization is eating a stack of pancakes taller than Mini-Me.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Going Dutch

Never go Dutch on Swedish pancakes or Finnish pornography.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


Every day you don't eat a pancake, the baby Jesus gets thrown off a cliff.

Thursday, July 7, 2011


You can't polish a turd, but you can laminate a pancake. So that evens out.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Your mom

There might be more to life than eating pancakes off a Satanic altar in your mom’s van, but I doubt it.