Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Mom


Oh what a crooked road we take when first we poo on Mom's pancake.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Healing


Heal me, O lord, and I shall be healed; pancake me, and I shall be pancaked; waffle me, and I shall burn in hell like an English muffin in a broken toaster.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Flame


"My loins are aflame!" said the seeker.

"My pancakes are aflame!" said the master.

Since the monastery was also aflame, we'll never know how that one turned out.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Elegy


Every pancake is an elegy to the prophet who peed on it.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Choices


I'd rather have a floozy in a jacuzzi than a pancake in a porta-potty. That's just how I was raised.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Life


I looked at my life, and it was a pancake. Hey, at least it wasn't a bowl of warm snot, like usual.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Death


How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a pancake? (Hint: Drug him).