Hippies

If you're throwing tridents and pancake batter at hippies, you must be doing something right.

Math

A pancake in the hand is worth two in the underoos.

Conflict

All conflicts come down to pancakes vs. waffles, Thor vs. Xenu, or Daffy Duck vs. Donald Duck.

Madness

To come between a man and his pancake is madness. Delicious, delicious, delicious, delicious madness.

Starting and finishing

It's better to start a pancake than to finish a poocake.

The spiritual ladder

When you move up the spiritual ladder, sprinkle a little pancake batter on the rungs, just to make it interesting for the next guy.

Education

A pancake isn't the kindest of teachers, but it might be the stickiest.

Happiness

If you want to be happy for a day, eat a pancake. If you want to be happy for a lifetime, sacrifice a hobo to Oprah this Saturday at 3:33 a.m.