Alcoholism

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a pancake on top of me, like the world's worst hat.

Pooches

There are purse dogs and police dogs, but no pancake dogs. It's Obama's fault.

God-fearing men

Let no one come between a God-fearing man and his pancake. Except maybe Shaq.

Dinner companions

Eat pancakes with forks, not orcs.

Choices

The way of the pancake is sticky, but the way of the waffle is Satan-y. Choose wisely.

Life

When life poos on your pancake, make poopy-pancake-ade.

Forgiveness

God will forgive your unholy proclivities if you serve them with pancakes. Letting those nuns out of the dungeon wouldn't hurt either.

Jenga

If you have ever played Jenga with a stack of pancakes, consult your neurologist immediately.