Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Did Adam and Eve really eat apple pancakes? The MSM won't even ask the question!

Monday, December 28, 2009


Most pancakes can be found in stacks, but a few dangerous individuals live in cartels.

Friday, December 25, 2009


I'm no saint. I have the pancakes, hostages, and hostage pancakes to prove it.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009


I slept, and dreamed that life was a pancake. Then I woke and life was a smurf being sodomized by a New Zealander.

Monday, December 21, 2009

The gods

Where God has made pancakes, the devil makes waffles. Thor just makes a boom-boom on the carpet.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The force

A great disturbance in the force is preferable to a huge turd in the pancake.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


Odin, who was wise, had one eye. Think how wise pancakes are, who have neither eyes nor tentacles.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Men and women

Women want men to be fluffy pancakes drenched in chocolate sauce, while men want women to be turbo-powered fembots with awesome nipple-blasters. No wonder dating sucks.

Friday, December 11, 2009


If I had a pancake for every virgin I've deflowered, I'd have, pancake. Nevermind.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


To investigate terrorism, the government is wiretapping pancakes. Hey, it beats a drone-bot killing your ass.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Give a man a pancake, he'll eat for a day. Give a man a death ray, he'll fuck shit up till the batteries run down.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


Pancake rage is less frequent than road rage, but it has traumatized millions of sausages.

Monday, December 7, 2009

The gods

Going postal over a pancake is like going mental over a massacre. Well, to God anyway, who is too busy playing naked Twister with Zeus to give a crap.

Friday, December 4, 2009


Without the Oedipus complex, there would be no religions or pancakes. Also, my family tree wouldn't scare away the squirrels.

Thursday, December 3, 2009


I too am a pancake, and grain alcohol is my syrup! It's been a rough year...

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


If you can learn to trust in pancakes and pee on heathens, my cult is having a membership drive.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Redemption cannot be attained through pancakes alone. You also have to blow a saint.