Self-knowledge

Don't blame the villainous chef for the poisoned pancakes. Look within your own heart, and do it quickly, because that poison acts fast.

Moderation

Do not lift thy pancake too high! There are pancake-eating bats around here.

Holy men

The holy man liberates the captive, heals the wounded, glorifies the pious, and humps the pancake (old custom).

Size

Big pancakes are only little pancakes who became morbidly obese.

Regret

If I had my life to live again, I'd make the same pancakes, only sooner. And I'd kill Billy.

Snowflakes

Every pancake is as unique as a snowflake, but I doubt you knew that, because of the powerful snowflake lobby.

Cuteness

Nothing is cuter than a puppy eating a pancake, except maybe a baby eating a kitten.

God

God will never forget you. You killed too many people with your pancakes a la anthrax.

Cheers

Here's to pancakes when you're hungry and lava when you're cold.

Toast

To life! The first half is ruined by pancakes; the second half is ruined by bounty hunters.

Culture

To throw a pancake is a great insult in my culture, because of the stickiness, which is icky in my culture.

Naval life

And it came to pass that on the morrow, after we had prepared all things, much fruits and meats from the wilderness, and pancakes in abundance, and provisions according to that which the Lord had commanded us, we did go down into the ship, after making a boom-boom on the poop deck.

Your mother

The Dirty Pancake: Your mother's favorite sex act or her breakfast specialty? Why can't it be both?

Cover story

The Pancake Fairy is neither sprite-like nor interested in pancakes; it's a cover story for his flourishing career as a Burrito Bandit.

Love

In your lover's freezer, you find a pancake in a jar. Congratulations! That is so much less disturbing than a head in a jar. Still, it is kind of weird.

Bad luck

If there is a mouse in your pancake, and you eat that mouse, contracting mouse fever and becoming violently ill to the point of death, it could foretell bad luck of some kind (like a lawsuit).

First dates

Never eat pancakes on a first date or second exorcism.

Earth

Early pancakes doubled as models of the earth, before we knew the earth was not delicious.

Respect

In the undead community, flesh-eating zombies are more respected than pancake-eating zombies.

Virgins

If you throw a pancake into a volcano that's expecting a virgin, that is going to be one disappointed volcano.

Pizza

The first pizza was more like a pancake, except for the cheese, bread, pepperoni, and dinosaur glands.

Love

Makin' pancakes is like makin' love, if you don't quite know how to do either because of severe head trauma.

France

In France, "French toast" means "pancake" and "French kiss" means "swirlie".

Inventions

The pancake was invented by John and Marybeth Whistle, who also invented the whistle and were the inspiration for Top Gun.

Dreams

Am I a proctologist dreaming I'm a pancake or a pancake dreaming I'm a proctologist? Let's hope I'm a pancake, because ew.

Sailors

Pancakes at night; sailor's delight. Pancakes at dawn; look out-- pirates!!!!!

Nonaggression

Ghandi learned about nonaggression from pancakes, who never started a war or put a sleeping person's hand in warm water.