Thursday, March 31, 2011


You lose very little by sharing your pancakes with strangers or selling your sister to pirates.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The law

If you treat celebrities like pancakes and pancakes like celebrities, may I recommend a good lawyer?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

State of the nation

It's a sad day when America's pancakes are smarter than the schoolchildren and the schoolchildren are more nutritious.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Being and non-being

Being and non-being are intertwined, just like pancake and non-pancake, or your mom and that homeless dude in the dumpster.

Thursday, March 17, 2011


What's more American than a pancake? Apple pie, Mom, nuclear power plants, big onion rings, reality TV, cockapoos... Pretty much anything.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


If I marry a pancake, it's an abomination. If a celebrity marries a scone, it's a trend. If a bishop marries a biscuit, it's a sacrament.

Thursday, March 10, 2011


Never let a sorcerer make your pancakes, unless eating your great-grandmother's soul sounds like a healthy breakfast.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


You get more with a pancake and a smile than a waffle and a bag of dog crap.

Thursday, March 3, 2011


He who eats pancakes with wise men is wise; he who sleeps with their wives is a freaking genius.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


Pancakes are like newborns. Sooner or later, a hobo is gonna eat 'em.