Thursday, February 25, 2010


Are there pancakes in hell? Yes, and JFK pees on them twice a day.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The soul

Many seekers have asked, "Do pancakes have souls?" Yes, that is what distinguishes them from your mom.

Friday, February 19, 2010


I don't regret the pancakes I preached, but I feel a little awkward about the preachers I pancaked. So that evens out.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


A pious priestess of the pancake is hard to find. Lucky for you, I'm having a sale.

Monday, February 15, 2010


The ten commandments don't mention pancakes, probably because Moses was a Satan-licking muffin-humper.

Friday, February 12, 2010


It's not what you know--it's who you make pancakes for while snorkeling their mom.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


He who conquers himself has won a greater victory than he who conquers a pancake. Still, that's pretty pitiful either way.

Monday, February 8, 2010


After three days, guests and pancakes both taste terrible.

Friday, February 5, 2010


When wisdom speaks, will you listen? Or will you stuff pancakes in your ears, like a weirdo?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Do not pour praise on the Lord while pouring goat's blood on your pancakes. Who do you think you are, Oprah?

Monday, February 1, 2010


Every woman adores pancakes, which pleases the gods. In fact, that's why the gods gave women boobs.