Friday, January 29, 2010


There is nothing the man upstairs loves more than a pancake, except maybe a mass suicide cult thing. He's a pip that way.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What if?

If the pancakes of Cleopatra had been fluffier, maybe the Druids wouldn't have sold her to the Vikings.

Monday, January 25, 2010


Fight the ungodly! Fight the unholy! Fight witchcraft and divination! Fight this bear, and I'll make pancakes for the winner.

Friday, January 22, 2010


I once saw a real sicko put ketchup on a pancake. Somehow, I think he'll make better choices in my freedom dungeon.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A blessing

May the spirit of whoredom leave these pancakes and relocate in that girl at the coffee shop!

Monday, January 18, 2010


When the pancake is not praised, the barn is set on fire, by me. Sorry, barn-huggers.

Friday, January 15, 2010


The arrogant man eats pancakes, but the cannibal man eats the arrogant man. So that evens out.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Doing what we can

The most you can do for your pancake is to simply be its pancake.

Monday, January 11, 2010


Don't let the government pull a rabbit out of your hat with one hand while they stuff a pancake down your panties with the other.

Friday, January 8, 2010


God doesn't care for false apostolic ministries, but he really has a problem with pancakes covered in phlegm.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Married life

The best part of married life is the pancakes, but my wife's collection of shrunken heads ain't bad!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Popes and priests

You can have your popes and priests. I'll be over here with the pancakes and pink velvet sausage wallets.

Friday, January 1, 2010

God's divine plan

God's divine plan for humanity doesn't revolve around pancakes, but it doesn't not revolve around them either. So there's that.