Friday, October 30, 2009


Every pancake has its disciples, and it's usually Judas who puts his wang in the syrup.

Thursday, October 29, 2009


Progress is made by standing on the pancakes of giants, then running like hell before those stupid giants catch you.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


The Great Pumpkin was supposed to be The Great Pancake, but what do you expect from a waffle-humping hippie like Charles M. Schultz?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The United States

Pancakes cannot defeat or humiliate the United States. Only waffles can do that.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Primordial being

The essence of primordial being is called "Nothingness". Or is is called "God". Or it is called "Pancake". Primordial being doesn't give a flying fuck.

Friday, October 23, 2009


The human mind devises many plans, but the pancake mind just lies there, like a dumbass.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


It is only in our minds that we are separate from our pancakes. That polar bear doesn't think that way at all.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


If you see a rider on a red horse, as a burning mountain falls into the sea, and heavenly bodies collide, tossing pancake batter at the advancing locusts probably won't help.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


If you burn a pancake in honor of the ascended masters, and let it burn for seven hours, in accordance with prophecy, you'll probably be breaking some fire codes, which I cannot condone.

Monday, October 19, 2009


Are there pancakes in the afterlife? Only in purgatory, where teddy bears make pancakes for smurfs in exchange for sexual favors.

Friday, October 16, 2009

The ninth stage

After eating your eighth pancake, you will attain the ninth stage, which the elders know as "Fatso-ville".

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Ancient times

The ancient seers saw ancient devils in their pancakes, but syrup and a good exorcist took care of that little hiccup.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


What U.S. actress in the 20's was known as "Little Miss Pancake Face"?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Am I a red-handed howler monkey dreaming I'm a pancake or a pancake dreaming I'm a red-handed howler monkey? Let's hope I'm a monkey, because mmm, bananas.

Monday, October 12, 2009


The eternal flame that burns is no less important than the eternal pancake that looks a little like Don Rickles.

Friday, October 9, 2009


Traditional toast: "May your pancake grow tentacles, and the tentacles violate your mother! Damn you, Dr. Vargas!"

Thursday, October 8, 2009


The first pitfall of the seeker is pride. The second pitfall is perversion. The third pitfall is a stack of pancakes made by my sister, the serial killer.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Falling on the pancake isn't as noble as falling on the grenade, but if it's preordained, it's preordained...

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Day trading

If a man trades his soul for a pancake, he might want to hire a new financial planner.

Monday, October 5, 2009


One true pancake is worth a thousand false dingleberries.

Friday, October 2, 2009

The old days

A wise man contemplated a single pancake for thirty years, back in the days when wise men were total bungholes.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Finding your soulmate is like looking for a pancake with a mustache. You can find both in Uncle Ted's basement.